Sibling Drama

[Heavenlymayday]

Little background- I didn't grow up with my brothers and sister on my dad's side. I met them when I was 19 and they are all younger than me. My dad and mom were indiscreet when my dad was married to my step mom before any of them were born, resulting in me. Since I have met them all about 9 years ago my dad divorced their mom, dated someone else. Came to visit me and fell in love with my mom again. Left the other woman to be with her and they got married a couple of years ago. It's all kind of weird, and it's hard trying to have a relationship with them cause I don't feel like they reciprocate at all.

So, my half brothers and sister on my dad's side came down for Christmas. It was kind of cool, I guess. I'm just a little disappointed that none of them called me even once the whole time they were down. I made the effort to go see them all the way over in Englewood (about 30 min away or so) and keep them posted on when I could come and when I couldn't and when I was there I felt like I was just in the way and no one called me at all to actually invite me to come over or do anything. I think the only reason I even got invited for Christmas was cause I showed up with Dad, cause they sure as heck didn't call me up to invite me before that.

I don't know. I just don't do well when I am the only one putting any effort into a relationship. It's not worth it if it's only one sided. It hurts too much. I try and try, and it's hard for me to do that and it's like they couldn't care less. It's not fair to make me come running after them saying "look at me!" like some dorky kid wanting attention hoping that they'll condescend to spend time with me. I think I could stand it better if I thought they didn't like me, but that's not even what it is. I'm just unimportant to them. At least, that's how it seems to me.

I think the highlight of the time I visited them was getting to talk to My step mom again. She was the only one who talked to me on any kind of real level, and seemed to show an interest in talking to me instead of just tolerating me being there.

I just don't know if it's worth trying any more. I keep getting hurt and the worst part is that I don't even know how much of it is them and how much of it is my own stupid insecurities. I know I have issues, but I still can't help thinking it's not all me. I'm not mad at them, I'm just hurt. I was hoping like crazy that I'd get at least a call before they left. Especially after I specifically asked them on Thursday to call me when they decided what they wanted to do on Friday. It's now Sunday, they're on their way back north, and not a single call.

Course I wonder if they think I was slighting them at some point too? Cause I couldn't do Universal studios, or Olive Garden or shopping. We were flat broke with all the bills due and less than $100 in the bank. Just financially not able to do it. But maybe it sounded like an excuse to not be around them or something? But then why would I have been going over there trying to spend time with them if I didn't want to spend time with them? Spending gas money I really didn't have just to see them?

Ugh.

I'll be ok. I hate all the drama though, even if part of it is in my head, I just wish I knew how much was me and how much was them. What do you think? Am I overreacting?

[Heavenlymayday]

Yeah, I just wish I didn't care so much. Then it would hurt a lot less and I could move on much easier.

I am grateful for my son and my sweety and the family and friends that do want to be with me. So that helps :D

[Monkey King]

HI. I sort of sit in the same boat as you. I grew up with my stepbrother. My parents weren't shy about the fact he was a step brother but never mentioned Dad's ex wife. Story goes she's a psycho. SHe had four girls after me......four different husbands, and she did to them what she did to me.

Anyways, I never even knew they existed until I was 15 going on 16. I was embarrassed at the time when I first found out. being young and not knowing what to do. I know what insecurities you feel. What do I do? what should I say? is a common one, but never blame yourself for anything that happens or anything 'they' do.

Life is too short to hang on specific people like that. Make sure you, your husband and kid(s) (sorry I can't remember how many?!) are fine and be happy with that. It's too much added stress trying to make everyone happy.

Just make sure to take care of those that take care of you. Let everything else hang. If 'they' get over themselves they'll see what a lovely person you are and come running back for some of that strength and wisdom you give so freely.

Be happy Miss Mayday in all you do and in what you have and life will turn out fine, it has a nasty habit of doing that all too often.

I think I have blathered on for long enough, don't you all think so.

By the way, this was all my opinion and feel free to ignore it.

Monkey King